I miss Cher.

Clueless, I miss you. I love this movie. Cher was my favorite character, and I confused Alicia Silverstone with reality. I truly wanted Alicia to actually embody Cher in real life.
The reasons I love Cher in Clueless can be best articulated with quotes.

On Virginity:
Tai: Cher, you’re a virgin?
Cher: You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Dionne: Besides, the PC term is “Hymenally challenged”.
Dionne: Cher’s saving herself for Luke Perry.

Cher: You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet.

On helping others:
Cher: I’m captain of the Pismo Beach disaster relief.
Mel: I don’t think they need your skis.
Cher: Daddy, some people lost all their belongings. Don’t you think that includes athletic equipment?

Cher : Dee, my mission is clear. Would you look at that girl? She is so adorably clueless. We have got to adopt her.
Dion: Cher, she is toe-up. Our stock would plummet.
Cher: It’s like that book I read in the 9th grade that said ’tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people

On abstaining from drugs:
Cher: Are you talking about drugs?
Tai: Yeah.
Cher: Tai, how old are you?
Tai: I’ll be 16 in May.
Cher: My birthday is in April and as someone older, can I please give you some advice? It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.

On immigration:
Cher: So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, “What about the strain on our resources?” Well it’s like when I had this garden party for my father’s birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. ’cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin’. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.

Brilliant. Dumbed down, hilarious, but good natured.
Clueless is based on a Jane Austen novel, Emma. As a literature major, Jane Austen was my favorite author to study, and I celebrated the silliness of Clueless. I REALLY wanted Alicia to be Cher in real life.

Turns out, she is the antithesis of Cher. She is not worrying about hauling ass to the USA kitchen, working on the Pismo Beach disaster, or concerned about the plight of high school girls.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy she is promoting Michelle Obama, and I am sure her Kind Diet is great. To be honest, her Kind Diet is probably awesome, and I am not faulting her stance on a Vegan lifestyle.

What I am annoyed with is how odd she is now. Seriously Alicia… eating food, and then spitting it into your child’s mouth is awesome? UGH, gross. I was a vegetarian for years, and having 3 dogs, certainly appreciate animals. But honestly, I miss our carefree Cher. The girlfriend who helped her friends, didn’t take life too serious, and worried about trivial matters. Watching news about Alicia has been annoying as of late. I miss light hearted Cher. I wish Alicia would have taken some clues from Clueless and realized many of us can relate, and appreciate the silliness. Instead, Alicia is depositing food into her super hip, odd celebrity named child Bear Blu. It is so cliché. Celebrities touting odd, overly original baby names, while promoting oddities is just so…. Expected. Blah. So unimpressed.


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2 thoughts on “I miss Cher.

  1. The Breezy on said:

    She’s like a Monet… From from far away put together but up close a hot mess

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