ranchandsyrup

To all you bitches, hoes and all that shit

I never thought I would be able to use Too Short as a title. Admittedly, this will be the dirtiest song I will ever reference. But it was the “shock me” title I was going for 🙂

Awhile ago I begun hearing girlfriends call their friends “my bitches” and “my favorite whore/slut/hoe.” I didn’t get it. I probably used the terms once or twice to fit in but it definitely didn’t resonate with me (except for my friends who actually were whores. And proud of it– I think they preferred the term “facilitator” though).

Thankfully my oldest “foundation” friends (BFFs Eva and Rachel) never subscribed to the idea of putting down girlfriends so the trend affected me little. When I moved to San Diego I met tons of fun girls and saw the affectionate name calling spike. Again, I met smart powerful women who were not interested in put downs as an example of endearment (Love you Char).

Last week I received a gift from a group of 5 women I consider some of my closest friends. It all begun with an amazing idea from my friend Megan, for our lovely friend Keri. She thought up the idea of making a “snaps cup” so we could share all the attributes we loved about her. Of course, we loved the idea (and a reason for bedazzling) and quickly went to work. If you read my blog you know what a snaps cup is. But just in case:

When we saw the effect our gift had for Keri, we realized every friend in our group deserved one on their birthday.  After all, it was so easy to write a few compliments about why we loved our friend!!  

My birthday was earlier this month and last week I received my snaps cup. Honestly, I didn’t think it was a big deal until I poured myself a glass of wine and opened mine. 30 something compliments from my girlfriends ranging from our friendship, to my hair, to wild adventures, and even my ability to help a drunk friend in need. A leading snaps trend was my friend’s perceived ability to think I am a great mother while having a career and maintaining my friendships and marriage. Guess what? I cried. I felt so special and loved. Mike is my best friend and compliments me all the time. But to have my girlfriends candidly tell me what they loved about me made me feel amazing. Just writing about it brings tears of happiness to my eyes.

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It made me think- Why doesn’t everyone treat their girlfriends with the love and compassion they deserve?

If you are lucky enough to have a friend or two who think you are tops, let them know.  In a place where “bitches and hoes” is a term of endearment, we can be the women who choose different.

If you don’t…

My next blog will be on why it’s ok to break up with a friend who doesn’t make you feel great.

xoxo,

Mari

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