Who Pooped In The Tub ?
Monday is bath night for our girls.
Bath nights are every other night and the kids get their hair washed, body scrubbed and are allowed to play with the obligatory toys cluttering my once pristine bathtub. The whole process takes about 20-40 minutes depending on who is in charge. Dad is infinitely quicker but his attention to detail does not compare with mom 😉 .
It’s easy right?
Some nights Mike and I choose to make the girls their dinner first then eat after they are in bed. We are at our limit of Mac n Cheese and Turkey Dogs(never thought it would happen). Plus not shovelling food in and having a conversation is a nice break from the chaos of full family dinner. Mike was planning to BBQ spicy sausage mixed with Caribbean Rice – Delish! Neither kiddo would be impressed so we went with the “kids before parent’s plan.”
They ate their turkey dogs. Drank their applesauce pouch. Sipped Chocolate milk. Refused veggies. Bath Time!
What could go wrong? After all we are pros at our nightly ritual.
Mike and I put the girls in the bathtub and launched into auto pilot. Both little people are clean and Mike pulls out Michaela (our 1.5 year old) and gets her ready for bed. While lotioning Michaela, Bailey(4.5 year old) starts screaming. “There is POOOOOOP in the tub! Mom?!! Come quick there is poop in the tub!!!”
There is a large deuce floating in the tub. A colon cobra slithering in the sudsy jungle. One ominous brown floater sashaying its way through the bubbles and toys. It was chasing Bailey. I was sure of it. She squealed and bounded out of the bathtub.
I have heard of this. I know it happens. I just didn’t think it would happen to us. On house keeper day. My freaking bathtub is finally clean and there is a sphincter spear hovering.
Dry Vomit first.
Then move to success driven execution. Both girls are hustled to the shower. We repeat cleaning measures. Actually we doubled up on cleaning measures.
Then the bathtub. There are bubbles everywhere. I have to push bubbles aside to find the turd and scoop it out with a bag. Then I bleached. And bleached. What about the bath toys? Are they safe? My germ paranoia was sliding off the Richter scale and visions of poop contamination were taking over.
Just when my crazy thought train was chugging out of control Bailey interrupted my thoughts.
“Guys, I can’t believe Lucy or Elway thought my bathtub was the toilet! Bad Puppies!”
Bailey actually believed one of our dogs pooped in her bathtub(Logistics?). I can’t handle it. I laugh until I snort. There is no way we will ever tell her that her sister pooped while in the bath with her. Bailey was so annoyed the dogs got confused and pooped in HER bathtub. If she knew it was Michaela….. well I just don’t know how that would go.
The bathtub is disinfected. The kids are clean. The dogs have been reprimanded in front of Bailey(and given cookies for not telling after she went to bed).
Just another Monday.
UPDATE…. Tuesday, 7:45am
As I was proofing this to post Bailey interrupted me.
“Mom next time it is bath night can I just take a shower?”