ranchandsyrup

Archive for the category “Supermarket madness”

I’m not like you and I don’t want your advice or your praise or to move in the ways you do.

Part 2 of the Supermarket Madness Series. Previous entry here.

We used to live in a little neighborhood in Oceanside tucked up on a hill behind a decent-sized shopping center. Due to some geographical quirks and freeway planning, we could walk to the shopping center in under five minutes but the trip by car took about 15 minutes and the use of two freeways. There was an emergency vehicle road that cut straight down the hill and emptied out into the parking lot about 5 houses down from our house. We didn’t use the shopping center all that often. It didn’t have the grocery store we like (but it did have a great taco shop for al pastor burritos). It also had a Walmart Super Center, and we went there to pick up things out of convenience. I’m not a fan of Walmart, for a bunch of reasons. I did (mostly) appreciate having it close by and using it as a convenience store.

Back then my lovely wife and co-blogger and I spent a lot of time in our back yard. We’d play backgammon, enjoy some cocktails and (GASP!) smoke some cigarettes. When we’d run low on supplies, the loser of the next game had to venture out. One day we needed some more wine and some smokes and I lost the chore-deciding game (likely due to some cheater-rolling of the dice by my opponent) so I sourly sauntered down the hill to Walmart.

As an aside, the emergency road hill was pretty steep and emptied out into a large parking lot. I loved to take the skateboard and ride down the hill and surf my way through the lot. I definitely frightened some people, either by almost plowing into them or they just feared for my safety. I also entertained some people. None more so than a group of kids (probably ranged from 13 to 17 in age) that were riding down the hill one day when I showed up at the top of the hill. They eyed me warily but saw I had the skateboard with me. We exchanged some pleasantries and I watched for a few minutes. They were taking off quite a bit farther up the hill than I was. I went down to the bottom of the hill to watch out for delivery trucks using the ring road that couldn’t be seen from the hill and for security. I finally took a turn, after saying something lame about how low I was starting, and cruised through the lot trying to carve some turns. Of course, to impress teenage skaters, I moved my start point up near the top of the hill. That was a bad choice. I started to get the “death wobble” because I was going too fast and was tentative. I tried to slow down by using the footbrake, but that was a bad choice. I promptly did the splits and heard my groin pop. The skater kids laughed and laughed and laughed. Eventually I did too and pulled myself and my pride together and went to the Walmart. Lamentably I forgot my ID and they refused to sell me smokes, even after I started shouting that I had grey hairs in my sideburns so I have to be old enough. I limped down to the Stater Brothers and then home so my wife could have a turn laughing at me. Solid day all around. Read more…

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