ranchandsyrup

Archive for the tag “child”

I Know Too Much

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I know your wedding anniversary was last week and the lasagna you ordered was phenomenal.  Your child has pink eye, a stutter and likes purple.  Your husband has horrific gas in the middle of the night and often it keeps you up at night.  The neighbors on your left are loud and annoying and the smoke from their partying comes into your window. You have lost 6 pounds on your new weight loss program and typically work out at 6:30am before work.  Your youngest child has the flu and the vomit is horrible.  You and your best friend are fighting over the girl’s night out last Tuesday.  Your job sucks and you were late last week because of traffic.

You are my Facebook friend and I don’t have your phone number.  We don’t hang out; in fact, we met in passing.  When you are down the street from my house and check in at a local bar you don’t realize how close you are.  Even if you did I wouldn’t be invited.  After all, we don’t know one another and I don’t want to be real friends with you.

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I have almost 500 “friends” on Facebook and have relationships with possibly 75.  I check Facebook throughout the day and peek into people’s lives knowing details about their family, their day-to-day activities and their life.  I know their religion, their political affiliation and their music tastes.  Many of these people I haven’t spoken to for more than 5 minutes in my entire life.

For the few real friends I have my feelings get hurt when I see a post and realize I wasn’t invited.  I can tell when someone is annoyed with me because they don’t like my picture or comment on a post they would normally comment on. I worry I might make someone feel excluded when I update a picture or event and may have forgotten to invite a friend.    Before Facebook I wouldn’t know when a few friends had an impromptu get together or quick coffee date.  I would be oblivious to a friend’s mild annoyance with me.

I have been thinking a lot about Facebook and the impact it has on my days.  More important, I worry about the time I set aside to read update after update from people I barely know.

Having aged from a young single girl to a mother the updates are equally annoying.  The constant competition of other parent’s boasting their child’s advanced skills or perfect post baby body will leave any person insecure.  On the flip side I receive notes from people commenting on the person without the perfect body or phenomenal child.

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Then there is my favorite area.  Friends I might not be real friends with any longer but don’t want to unfriend on Facebook.  After all it would be childish, right?   I read posts of them boasting their best night ever with their newest friends or vacationing down the street.  According to Facebook their lives (or ours) is much better now and the passive aggressive dance ensues.

What is happening? Why has social media become the dominant presence in our lives? I have always defended my Facebook membership as a tool to keep in touch with family and friends who live far away.  However, I spend much more time reading updates about people I don’t interact with!  Why do we care so much about reading what people are doing? I find myself delighting in the mortifying admissions and the horrific posts people write.  I hear my disappointment because a friend forgot to invite me or another friend is annoyed because I missed an outing. This is not who I am and I am quickly realizing I have no interest in knowing so much.  Facebook creates insecurity in my friendships and encourages me to post nothing but what I want people to perceive is my life.

I am not done with Facebook. Yet.  However downsizing is part of my phase out program.  I don’t want to lose the years of previous posts because I think it will be fun to include in my kiddos scrapbooks.  Also our blog reaches all of my contacts.  But I am tired of too much information.  I am bored of worrying how I look in each picture to prove I am still a hot mom (thanks Photoshop).

For my real friends please just let me know when you are upset with me or just love me.  Please begin sending photos to my email address because I cherish them.  Remember I might not be available but invite me! Mostly, think about what you post on Facebook.  Know people are reading and might be hurt, offended or excluded.

What do you think? What is your social media pet peeve? I would love to hear your comments while I check Facebook 😉

Xo Mari

 

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Fantasies of Trouble

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I have been horrible about blogging, and I really don’t mean to, it’s just that I am pregnant!

It’s great to have an excuse most everyone enthusiastically accepts. Being pregnant with my second has me thinking quite a bit, and since I am stuck without my favorite vices, I’m remarkably clear headed. When a woman gets pregnant, she automatically becomes an angel. It doesn’t matter what she was doing the day before, or how she became pregnant, she is now an innocent blessed creature!

The first time I was pregnant, I was shocked how people treated me.  My first experience was in the mall walking by an Orange Julius.  The owner saw me sauntering by and gave me an ice cream cone, just because I was pregnant! It was so sweet, I couldn’t believe it! Yes, there are the occasional jerks who don’t offer to hold the door, or give up their seat, but for the most part, people are really accommodating to those with child. 

Thank you, thank you humanity for being kind to us gals.  But for a mischievous momma like I, it seems like the perfect time to get in trouble.  I was incredulous by the assumptions of character bestowed on a pregnant person.  Immediately, I was given benefit of the doubt, praise before criticism. 

Why is it the moment a person becomes pregnant their moral status skyrockets?

For fun, I googled pregnant theft… All the below stories happened in the past two months….

  1. 1.       This week, theft at a pizza joint (I assumed it was that she stole pizza, but no)

http://www.mywesttexas.com/top_stories/article_5edc4c54-a08b-11e2-95ff-001a4bcf887a.html

  1. 2.       Stealing a car, while drunk (and pregnant)

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/story/2013/02/27/north-yellowknife-woman-sentenced.html

  1. 3.       Another gem, 8 months pregnant, car being towed, so pregnant lady stole the tow truck:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2211714/Pregnant-Ohio-woman-goes-high-speed-chase-stolen-tow-truck-attached-repossessed-vehicle.html

Pages of more stories come up with a simple google search, but you get the point…

Being pregnant does not make one an awesome person.  It means she is able to reproduce.  Yes, pregnancy is a miracle, but the body carrying it might be devilish.  People don’t change overnight, but society thinks they do. 

I fancy myself a reasonably good person.  I am definitely not perfect, but not a devil either 😉  For some reason, I found myself intentionally mischievous later in my pregnancy.  I couldn’t help it! Granted, my idea of rebellious may not warrant news, but I definitely had my moments.  Thinking back, I remember a few big wins for the pregnant lady. 

  1. Post Office: I knowingly stole packaging and tape from the post office.  You know the self service area where you can pick out packing, and then you have to go pay for it.  I didn’t pay for the tape, or the envelope. 
  2. When I realized people would give me free food, I would always ask for extra dipping sauces.  No one ever charged me for more dipping sauces.
  3. I utilized my condition to avoid waiting in lines, getting front row parking and elicit sympathy from people who were typically difficult to deal with.
  4. Many more, but I can’t tell all my secrets since I am on round two!

OK, I realize my idea of breaking the rules might not be as extreme as the above news samplings, but it was fun!  I loved tricking people, trivial as it may have been.  Why? Because I am the same silly girl I was before the moment of conception.  The only difference is the miracle growing inside.  In some ways, it is liberating breaking the rules; just to prove to yourself YOU are still in there!  I needed to know a baby wasn’t turning me into an uber-boring grown up who wouldn’t enjoy the same things I did before being a mom. 

Remember, becoming pregnant, doesn’t make a woman a saint.  She is still the same lady you loved/hated before, and probably wanting to get into trouble.  I know I do!

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